August 2010

Marriage Matters

This past weekend I had the privilege to perform the marriage ceremony for my second cousin, Jaclyn. She had it on Tybee Island, so it was my first beach wedding. I enjoyed leading a wedding in sandals. Her new husband, Matt, I believe is a good young man and I am very happy for both of them.

With my mind focused on the wedding this weekend and with us seeking to focus on the family this summer at Center, I thought a lot this weekend about marriage and family. We have all been at a wedding and seen the joy that day brings to the couple and the family. But I always remind couples that a wedding is for a day, but a marriage is for a lifetime. I do this to not dampen the spirit of the day, but as a challenge for them to know that a marriage is a journey of love, work, sacrifice and giving each and every day.

For so many, the blessing of marriage has become a burden, and all around us marriages are hurting. Just think about this, if you were to Google the phrase "my family is" it will automatically pop up with the most requested searches. Here is a sample of what pops up with 'my marriage is': falling apart, over, boring, in trouble, failing, dead, not working, making me depressed, ending, horrible. I am afraid that the statistics back this up. More than 43 percent of first marriages end in divorce within 15 years.

What is happening? The reality is that marriage has been under attack from the very start in the Garden of Eden and has been on the enemy's hit list. One of the attacks comes at the very heart of what marriage is all about and how we see it versus how God sees it. God has a very high view of marriage; after all, he instituted it before the government and before the church. For that reason, God sees marriage as a covenant, not a contract (Malachi 2:14).

What is the difference? A contract involves promises, covenants involve oaths or vows. Such as the vows couples exchange during the ceremony. It would do us all good to remember the simple but profound vows we made at the wedding altar, ending with 'till death do us part'. In a contract, we exchange property; a covenant is an exchange of people. Let me explain. With a contract, you will exchange what you have, with a covenant you exchange who and what you are. And in a contract the money is yours and property and goods are mine. In a covenant, I am yours and you are mine.

Also, God created marriage to display His glory. For those who read this article each month, you know I am full of deep truth. Here is another one. Men and women are different. But here is the greater truth. God made us different that He might make us one. We are to be one in body, soul and spirit. And as He works out His grace in our marriage by changing us to make us into His image, it is a testimony of His power and grace as others see God's work in our relationships with each other.

God also sees marriage as a picture that demonstrates His love for us. Ephesians Chapter 5 tells us that we are the bride of Christ and that we are to love, serve, give and sacrifice for each other, just as Christ did for all of us. Now, I would say if you do not accept Jesus as Savior, you need to. Every marriage takes three. The man, woman and Jesus. For those of you who are saved but maybe your spouse is not, I would say to you, do not give up. God will use you to touch their hearts with the gospel as you allow Christ to live in and through you.

No matter where you are, I know there is hope and grace for all of our marriages. God is able to bring healing, hope, courage, power and strength to work in us all. Remember that the wedding is a day, but marriage is a lifetime. It will never be perfect as long as it involves imperfect people. But by God's grace and working every day in His power and grace, it can be healthy as we see marriage from God's view. My prayer is that as we seek God's best for all of our marriages, there will come a day when we Google 'my marriage is' and the first thing to pop up will be - a blessing from God. More importantly, I pray you can say the very same thing.